Forsaken
by Crinklybrownleaves
Summary: Set in series 4, this story assumes Jean leaves for Adelaide when Mei Lin arrives. So it definitely doesn't stick to canon (in places) but I've tried to keep everyone in character. I hope you enjoy it!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: this story starts in S4E4, but quickly becomes AU. Seven-dragons (thank you) suggested in a discussion that perhaps Jean should not really have stayed with Lucien once Mei Lin came back. This story takes up that idea, and inevitably that changes the events of the rest of series 4. I hope you enjoy it. xx**

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Perhaps he shouldn't have been surprised. The one thing everyone knew about Jean Beazley was that she always tried to do what was right. But he still hadn't thought she would really leave him.

The night Mei Lin came to their door, both Jean and Lucien were too shocked to think clearly, and the following day passed in a blur of work. But it seemed that Jean soon recognised what they would have to do; she started to distance herself, pulling away from his hold on her arm, reminding him he was married, giving him his ring back.

Once Mei Lin moved to the hotel it was perhaps just a matter of time. Jean knew people would talk if Mei Lin lived in the hotel while she stayed at home with Lucien. That just wasn't right. So, Lucien found himself reading Jean's note with disappointment, but a certain feeling of inevitability.

 _Lucien_

 _I'm sorry to say goodbye in a note, but I'm not brave enough to say it in person. You should ask Mei Lin to come home - she's your wife._

 _I'm going to stay at Christopher's until I can find work, so could you please send on any post. I'd prefer it if you didn't ring me or write any letters. I think that would be unfair on Mei Lin, and perhaps unfair on me too._

 _I wish you both well._

 _Jean_

He tried to find some reassurance in the letter that she would be back, or even any sign of affection, but she had avoided that. The note was starkly practical, and he couldn't even contact her to try to change her mind.

He put the note in his desk drawer and poured himself a whisky. He swallowed it rapidly, and then went upstairs and opened the door to Jean's room. She had obviously packed in a hurry, eager to be out of the house before he came home from work. The wardrobe door hung open, just a few coat hangers remaining on the rail. The bed was unmade, and that struck Lucien as so unlike Jean that he found himself automatically straightening the sheets and blankets.

He then sat down despondently on her bed and put his head in his hands. A tear trickled down his cheek and he didn't bother to wipe it away, and soon he was openly crying. Crying because the wife he had searched for for nearly two decades was safe, and the housekeeper he had taken for granted for too long had left.

The irony was not lost on him.

Eventually he walked slowly down stairs and determinedly set about drinking himself into oblivion.

He woke in the small hours at his desk, with a stiff neck and a headache. Stretching out his arms to ease his neck, he stood and staggered the few feet to his bedroom, where he removed his shoes and waistcoat. He then lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling despondently, in near darkness, until he slept again.

He didn't wake again until he heard Charlie in the kitchen, making himself some breakfast. Lucien groaned and rolled onto his side. His pillow smelled faintly of Mei Lin; she had slept there for two nights. There was a distant familiarity to her scent, certainly not unpleasant, but he found himself wishing it was the soft lemon smell of Jean's hair.

Walking through to the kitchen, he nodded at Charlie and poured himself a cup of tea.

"Where's Mrs Beazley?" Charlie asked. This was the first morning he could remember when Jean had not been up in time to make breakfast.

"She's gone, Charlie." He didn't elaborate and Charlie didn't press him, just stared grimly at his toast.

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Jean woke on her first morning in Adelaide to the sound of Amelia grizzling in her cot. She had lain awake much of the night, fretting about whether she had done the right thing, only to fall into a really deep sleep at dawn. Now she got up and put on her dressing gown, and went to see her granddaughter.

Amelia seemed delighted to see her and wriggled excitedly as Jean picked her up and went downstairs. Christopher glanced up at her and said, "You didn't have to see to her, Mum. Ruby would have done it."

"I know, but I wanted to," she replied. "Let Ruby have a lie in this morning." Jean cuddled the baby closer, kissing the top of her head, knowing that she was doing it to comfort herself as much as Amelia.

Christopher had heard the crack in her voice and looked sharply at his mother. He could see unshed tears in her eyes and he hesitated, wondering if he should ask what was wrong, but in the end he left it. She would tell him what the problem was when she was ready, he reckoned.

Finishing his cup of tea, Christopher went off to work, leaving his mother holding tightly on to his daughter. Then the tears began to slide down her cheeks and drip into Amelia's dark hair.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the kind reviews, even though the theme of them seemed to be 'heart-breaking'! Sorry. There's going to be a bit more Bleak Blake, but things will get better, I promise! X**

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Lucien knew he should go and visit Mei Lin. There was no reason for her to stay in the hotel now, but he was in no hurry to have her at home. Something was bothering him about Mei Lin's arrival; how had she got out of Hong Kong with little money and no contacts?

For much of the morning Lucien went through the motions of his normal life. He saw some patients, deflecting their questions about where Jean was with stories of her being on holiday. He almost believed it himself; surely she had not really gone for good? He made himself some tea, and drank it alone, in a miserable silence. He missed the few minutes with Jean that they would have shared over the drink, and wondered what she was doing now in Adelaide.

At lunchtime, with a sinking heart, he met with Mei Lin, and he asked her to move back to his house. He explained that Jean had left, and he was saddened to see a look of triumph in Mei Lin's eyes. She spent much of the afternoon unpacking and making space in Blake's room for her possessions. It occurred to Lucien that his wife expected they would share a bed.

He baulked at the idea. He knew he couldn't sleep in the same bed as Mei Lin, but he would have happily shared with Jean, if only she had let him. He would have to work out an excuse before bedtime.

Mei Lin cooked dinner, and Lucien and Charlie made polite but stilted conversation at the table. Charlie offered to wash up, and then volunteered Blake to dry up for him. Lucien looked rather startled at this but dutifully picked up the towel.

No sooner had Mei Lin left the kitchen than Charlie turned to the doctor.

"What's going on, Doc?" he asked quietly. "Where has Mrs Beazley gone, and has Mrs Blake really moved back in?" He looked angry.

"Jean's gone to Adelaide. Mei Lin's moved back in. I'm not happy about either move, but what am I supposed to do?" He looked regretfully at Charlie, but that particular look didn't work on anyone except Jean, and Charlie looked at him with disappointment.

"You could have stopped Mrs Beazley going, for a start. Or you could phone her now and ask her to come back. She deserves better than this."

Lucien opened his mouth to reply, but then put down the plate he had been drying and went to fetch Jean's letter. Charlie read it in silence and then shook his head.

"She can't mean that. She can't." But he realised as he said the words that she probably did mean it. That would be typical of Jean.

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Ruby watched her mother in law tackling the garden, and wondered if they would ever truly understand each other. Jean had never really warmed to Ruby, and Ruby found Jean an enigma.

When Ruby and Christopher had first married, Jean had made her feelings only too clear. She thought her daughter in law was not practical or particularly hard working, and Ruby, in turn, found Jean rather intimidating.

But things had changed a little after Amelia was born. Jean had pitched in and helped, and they had formed a tentative friendship. And then, Ruby had been secretly impressed by the way Lucien had followed Jean to Adelaide. It all seemed rather romantic, and made her look at Jean differently. There must be something remarkable about her, if a man chased her across the country to avoid losing her.

But something had plainly gone very wrong. Ruby didn't have to be a genius to see that. Jean had arrived at their house at just a few hours notice, but seemed to have brought everything she owned with her. She was outwardly calm, but her red eyes and drawn face told a different story.

And there had been no mention at all of Lucien.

Ruby followed Jean out into the garden. Amelia was asleep and now was as good a time as any to talk.

"Jean, will you tell me what is the matter?" Ruby went for the direct approach, the one she thought Jean would use.

Jean looked up at her from her work. Ruby rarely called her by her name, in fact she usually managed to avoid calling her anything. Now it sounded odd, full of an unexpected sympathy, and Jean looked carefully at Ruby before replying. The distress in her eyes completely contradicted her words.

"I'm fine, Ruby. I don't know what you mean." She stood up and wiped her hands on her apron.

"You don't seem fine. You seem upset. And you were so happy when we last saw you." Ruby wasn't going to let it go.

Jean had to look away. The last time they had met she had been so excited about her new relationship with Lucien. She had invited Lucien to dinner with the family, and she thought she had never been happier.

"I had to leave Ballarat, Ruby. I'm sorry to impose on you. I just need a few days to think, but I'll look for another job somewhere in Adelaide, and then I can find somewhere else to live." Jean's hand went to her mouth as she tried to hide how near to tears she was.

Ruby stepped a bit closer. "You can stay as long as you want, Jean. But have you argued with Lucien? Surely it will blow over."

Jean shook her head. "This can't ever blow over, Ruby. He's married." She had managed to say it out loud, that awful fact that she had been trying to accept, and still couldn't quite believe.

Ruby's mouth fell open in shock for a moment. "Married? How could he...?" She stared at Jean. Jean would be the last woman on earth to get involved with a married man, and surely Lucien should have known that.

"He thought she was dead, in the war. He hasn't deceived me, Ruby, or not on purpose, anyway. But she's alive and well, and in Ballarat. I just couldn't stay there."

"No, I can see that." Ruby still looked stunned. "I'm sorry. You seemed happy together."

"We were. I thought we were. But that doesn't matter now." And Jean went inside, putting an end to the conversation for now.


	3. Chapter 3

Mei Lin went to bed early, wishing Charlie a good night. Lucien shifted uncomfortably and tried to continue reading the newspaper, but he could feel Charlie's eyes on him now.

"So is that it then?" Charlie asked, looking annoyed. "Jean's gone, and we all pretend she never lived here?" He hardly ever called her Jean, but he was getting more and more angry. Was he the only one who cared about her?

"Of course not, Charlie. But what can I do? This is what Jean wants me to do." Lucien looked defeated.

Charlie shook his head in irritation. "She may think it's the right thing to do, but I'm sure she doesn't want you to just give up on her." He stood up and went to the door. "Goodnight." He left quickly before Blake could reply.

An hour later, having drunk a large quantity of whisky, Lucien headed to the bathroom and to bed. He had decided where he was going to sleep, and with a few drinks inside him it seemed like a good idea. The door to Jean's room was standing ajar, and he gently pushed at the door, looking inside almost as if he expected to find her there.

He turned on one of the lamps and sat on the bed, easing off his shoes and starting to get undressed. He kept his underwear on, realising too late that his pyjamas were in his bedroom, and dropped the rest of his clothes in a heap on the floor. He pulled back the covers and slid into Jean's bed, then lifted the blankets up to his chin.

He hadn't expected to sleep easily, but within a few minutes he had dozed off. His last coherent thought was of Jean, and he knew he would have to find a way to bring her back home.

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Almost as soon as Christopher got home, Ruby pulled him into the kitchen, and Jean could hear them having a whispered conversation. Her heart sank, although she knew of course that Christopher would have to know about it eventually. At least it would save her having to retell the story.

At dinner, she hardly spoke and pushed the food around her plate without eating more than a few mouthfuls. The reality of losing Lucien had fully sunk in now, and food revolted her. Perhaps for the first few days she had been able to deny, even to herself, the finality of her situation, but now it was all too clear.

Even though she had chosen to leave Ballarat, and to cut all ties, she still missed everything she had left behind - her home and her friends, but most of all Lucien, of course.

As soon as she could, Jean made her excuses and went to bed. She didn't feel tired, but she wanted to be alone. She tried to write a letter to Mattie, but it was impossible not to mention Lucien, or Mei Lin, or moving to Adelaide, and she wasn't ready to explain all that just yet. She tried reading her book, but her thoughts kept turning to Lucien; she couldn't help wondering how he was, and how he and Mei Lin were getting on.

Eventually, she got into bed, and as she lay in the darkness she wept for all she had already lost, and for the future she had started to dream of, and which would not now happen.

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Lucien woke, disorientated, in the early morning. He was surprised to find himself in Jean's room, but he found it rather comforting.

Everything about it reminded him of her; the soft pink of the walls, the dressing table with a couple of forgotten bottles and jars still on it, the pictures she had chosen on the walls.

On her pillow beside him there was one long dark hair from her head. The whole room smelled of her scent, and if he closed his eyes he could almost imagine she had been there in bed with him.

Perhaps she had just got up to make some tea, or to use the bathroom, and she would be back lying next to him in a few minutes. He could dream, couldn't he?

He sighed and got up, putting on the clothes he had discarded on the floor the night before, and went to face a day with Mei Lin.


	4. Chapter 4

Three weeks later, everyone had settled into new, if uncomfortable, ways of coping with the situation.

Jean quickly found work in a local hotel, cleaning and making beds. It was dull but undemanding, and she was grateful to have something to fill the hours during the day. The work tired her enough to let her sleep, and she looked forward to going back to Christopher and Ruby's house to play with her granddaughter every evening.

She tried very hard not to think about Lucien at all. It was impossible of course, but she hoped in time it would get easier. The late evenings were the worst, when she alone with her own thoughts. She asked herself many times if it would have mattered so very much if she had stayed.

At night she lay in bed and blamed herself for what she wrote in her letter. She knew it had been sensible to ask him not to contact her, but if she were really honest, she hadn't believed he would do it. Her heart ached at the thought that maybe he just didn't care enough to take the risk and talk to her anyway. But she knew she was being unreasonable - he had done exactly what she asked.

In the meantime Lucien was establishing some sort of tentative relationship with Mei Lin. She had refused to talk about how she came to be in Australia, and this still worried Lucien, but she had settled into the house and was coping with the new way of life.

Mei Lin often talked about the years when they had lived together in Singapore, but rarely talked about the more painful years she had spent since in China. Lucien told her everything he could remember of his visit to see Li, and Mei Lin wrote to her, hoping to be able to visit her perhaps in the future.

Neither of them ever mentioned Jean. Mei Lin commented rather acidly, just once, on Lucien sleeping in her room, but she had decided it wasn't worth insisting he shared a room with her. That would come in time, perhaps.

As for Lucien, he tried to keep busy and distracted during the day, and indulged in his own thoughts about Jean when he was alone in her bed at night.

He may not have talked about Jean with Mei Lin, but she was certainly not forgotten. He turned over in his mind many plans for getting her to come back, but didn't know how to start to persuade her without phoning her, or writing to her. He didn't know how to break the silence between them.

He had found a rare photo of Jean, taken one day in the garden, and he kept this on the bedside table in her room, where he could see it when he woke. Far from trying to forget Jean, he was trying to keep his hopes for her alive.

Charlie was shocked at how quickly everything had changed. Lucien seemed to him to have accepted the new situation, and this really angered Charlie. If he had been in Lucien's shoes, he would have done everything he could to get Jean back, but Lucien seemed almost passive. And he hated the way Mei Lin had somehow slipped into Jean's place. Charlie was even considering finding new lodgings.

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The turning point came when Rose saw Mei Lin arguing with Derek Alderton in the Botanic Gardens. Rapidly taking some photos, she found she wasn't as surprised as she expected. There was always something odd about Mei Lin's reappearance, and so she took the photos to Charlie.

"What do you think I should do with them? Surely Dr Blake should see them? She obviously knows the Major." Rose was full of questions, but Charlie didn't know any of the answers.

"Jean would know what to do." he replied, rather despondently. "But Mrs Blake obviously has something to hide. The Doc can't ignore these. I suppose we'll have to show them to him."

As Lucien seemed to be living with his head in the sand, this was not a task that would be easy.

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"Bloody Derek Alderton!"

Lucien's reaction was mostly frustration. Why couldn't Mei Lin have told him from the beginning that Derek was involved? It certainly explained how she had got out of the refugee camp, but he was no clearer as to what Derek hoped to achieve.

Lucien sighed and took another mouthful of his whisky. "Thank you, anyway," he said to Rose and Charlie. "I'd rather you didn't say anything about this to anyone. I'll need to speak to Mei Lin."

That conversation turned out to be long and difficult, but as night fell they had reached a new understanding. Derek's obsession with persuading Lucien to rejoin the service was behind it all; blackmailing Mei Lin, threatening Li, manipulating Lucien. And Jean was just collateral damage as far as Derek was concerned. That was the final straw for Lucien.

He could not remember ever being so furious before, but at least he knew what he had to do now.

He would persuade Alderton to give up all idea of recruiting him, and then he would go and find Jean. He had to hope she would come home when she understood. Mei Lin had already made it clear to him she didn't expect him to live with her again; that was just part of Derek's plan, and something she had been forced into against her will.


	5. Chapter 5

**The problem with messing about with canon, but not throwing it away altogether, is that it leads to unexpected consequences! In 4.7, Lucien finally tells Jean he has chosen her over Mei Lin, and the confidence that this gives Jean in their relationship influences the events of 4.8.**

 **However, in my story, this part of 4.7 doesn't happen. So in the next couple of chapters Jean will have some lingering doubts about the reality of Lucien's feelings for her.**

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Charlie's first reaction to the news of Blake's arrest for murder was that he needed to find Jean, and fast. Unfortunately he had no idea of her address, beyond knowing she was in Adelaide. And finding her in a city that size would not be easy. He could have asked Lucien of course, but he suspected the Doctor would want to keep her out of his troubles.

Fortunately, being a policeman came in very handy, and a phone call to a colleague in the city soon came up with an address and phone number for a Christopher Beazley. Aware that he was rather misusing the information, since Jean was neither a witness nor a suspect, he dialled the number.

"Beazley residence."

Charlie's relief at Jean answering was clear in his reply. "Jean. Thank goodness! It's Charlie. I'm sorry to phone like this but I really need your help."

"What sort of help, Charlie?" She couldn't imagine what he might want.

"The Doc's been arrested, on suspicion of murdering Major Alderton. And Mei Lin is missing too. I think it's going to be difficult to get him out of this mess. Frank's got him in the cells, so there's just me and Rose and Dr Harvey trying to work out what to do. We really need you Jean." He knew he hadn't explained enough, but it was hard to know where to start.

"Derek Alderton's dead?" Jean asked in disbelief. "What do you mean, Mei Lin's missing?"

"She was being blackmailed by Alderton. That's why she came back, it was all to try to get Lucien to join the service again. Now we can't find her, she could be anywhere. Jean, I'll explain it all when you arrive, but you need to come back now."

Jean was rapidly trying to work out what to do, but she didn't even consider refusing what Charlie had asked.

"I'll get the train - it'll be quicker. If I come to the police station will you let me see him?" She was supposed to be at work this afternoon. If she didn't turn up she would probably lose the job, but that didn't seem to matter now.

Charlie agreed, not sure how he would manage that under the noses of Frank Carlyle and Sullivan, but he'd do it somehow.

Jean promised to come as soon as possible, and twenty minutes later she had packed a small bag, written a note to Christopher and Ruby, and called a taxi to get to the station.

The note had been a problem. How could she explain something like this? In the end she had settled for, 'Going to Ballarat for a couple of days. Will ring you.' Enough to explain her absence but no more.

On the train she started to have doubts. She didn't doubt Lucien's innocence, but she wondered how wise she was being, just setting off for home, when she'd tried for weeks to cut all ties. Would Lucien even want to see her? It was Charlie who wanted her there, and perhaps she was making a fool of herself.

It was too late to turn back now, though.

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Charlie looked relieved to see her, but kept his voice down.

"Mrs Blake has turned up. She's upstairs with the superintendent and Sullivan. I could get you down to the cells now if we're quick."

Jean didn't want to come face to face with Mei Lin, so she nodded and they hurried downstairs.

Charlie left her at the foot of the stairs, discreetly leaving them alone. Jean's first glimpse of Lucien was quite reassuring. On the train she had worried about him, particularly that he would find being confined in the cell too hard. She knew many of his nightmares stemmed from being shut up in a small space, but at first glance at least, he seemed his usual self.

He was leaning against the cell wall, watching something out of the cell window, and he didn't immediately turn to her. When she walked towards the cell door he looked round, and he looked first startled, and then delighted, to see her.

"Jean!" He seemed lost for words, unusually. "How..?" He was at the door before she got there.

He stared at her for a moment, hardly believing she was there, and reached through the bars to hold both her hands. They both grinned, forgetting the terrible circumstances in their pleasure at seeing each other. Her doubts about whether he would want to see her fled away; regardless of the future, he wanted her there now.

"Charlie rang me," she replied. "What on earth happened, Lucien?" She found she couldn't stop studying his face.

He explained rapidly about the meeting at the observatory, and Hannam, and that he seemed to be the obvious suspect since the weapon was found in his medical bag. Then he stopped speaking.

"Charlie can explain the rest. I don't want to waste time with you talking about it." He lifted up her nearer hand and kissed the back of it. "I'm just glad you've come back."

"I couldn't stay away, not while you're in so much trouble. But I'll have to go back to Adelaide afterwards."

His face fell. Of course, she didn't realise he had made his choice. How could she realise; they had not spoken for weeks.

"Mei Lin and I will never live together again, Jean. We don't love each other anymore. I want to be with you, and when this is all over, I promise I will do whatever I have to do to make that happen. A divorce, whatever. I'm so sorry, for everything." He stroked her cheek and then cupped it with his hand, and she remembered him doing that to comfort her when Jack was arrested.

She smiled at him and covered his hand on her face with her own hand.

For a few minutes then Lucien talked about practical matters; he didn't want her to stay in the house at night while Hannam was on the loose, and so he persuaded her to go to the club. And he suggested some tasks Rose and Alice could do to help.

"Besides, you can't really sleep in your bedroom at the moment. I've been using it." He thought for a moment of how he had imagined her there with him.

Jean raised her eyebrows at his words, and they both laughed a little, and the tension was broken.

Lucien was looking at her closely now, focussing on her lips, and Jean knew he wanted to kiss her. Her stomach flipped at the thought and she could feel her face redden. But apart from the practicalities of kissing through the cell bars, she didn't want their first real kiss since Adelaide to be in the basement of the police station.

"Not now," she whispered. "Charlie may come back soon." He looked disappointed, and his eyes took on that expression that she found so very hard to resist.

They were still holding hands, and so she kissed the back of his fingers, barely grazing them with her lips. She glanced up at him and caught a look she hadn't seen since he got onto the bus. His eyes said all that he couldn't quite say yet in words.

Jean turned away as she heard Charlie's footsteps on the stairs, and they only had time for a quick goodbye before Charlie was hurrying her away. He was anxious not to be caught bending the rules for them.

Jean picked up her case from behind the desk where Bill Hobart had hidden it from Frank and Sullivan, and then she set out to walk to the Colonists' Club.


	6. Chapter 6

Jean slept surprisingly well at the club. Charlie had called round in the late evening to update her on the case, and they had arranged to meet at the house in the morning. Jean was glad he was coming; she didn't want to have to explain herself to Mei Lin.

Charlie had agreed to stay in the house to make sure Mei Lin was safe, and Rose and Alice would join them all tomorrow morning.

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In the morning, Jean walked to the house with a mind filled with questions. She had questions about the case, in particular how the weapon might have ended up in Lucien's bag, and also about where Mei Lin had gone yesterday.

But she also had questions for Lucien. She wanted to know more about how he and Mei Lin had fared while she was away. Something Charlie had let slip last night was worrying her now.

When she arrived at the house, she had to knock at the door; she had left her key behind when she travelled to Adelaide. Charlie opened the door cautiously, but looked pleased to see her.

"Jean, come in quickly." He was concerned that Hannam might turn up. "Mei Lin's gone again. She must have got up very early and left, but I've no idea why."

Jean made some tea and breakfast for them, and for Rose and Alice who arrived shortly afterwards. None of them had any clue as to where Mrs Blake had gone, however. Jean looked around the table at their friends and knew they were relying on her now as Lucien's partner. When had that happened, she wondered?

While they were still discussing Mei Lin's disappearance, Lucien arrived home. Their relief and delight at his release was soon shattered by the news that Mei Lin had confessed to the murder.

"She's just trying to protect you, surely?" Jean objected, and they all settled to trying to work out who could have killed Derek.

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With everyone except Jean and Lucien sent off on errands around Ballarat, they found themselves alone at home for the first time in weeks. They sat at the kitchen table, drinking more tea and watching each other surreptitiously. This wasn't the moment to discuss their situation, but they were each trying to work out where they stood.

Lucien knew he faced an uphill task to convince and reassure Jean that he could sort out a divorce and marry her. Jean was concerned that, according to Charlie, Lucien had lived with Mei Lin in seeming contentment for several weeks; was he now turning back to her simply because Mei Lin had rejected him?

In due course, Hannam arrived and convinced them he was not the killer. Then Frank and Lucien rushed off together to the police station, leaving Jean in the house alone.

She tried to settle to some sewing, then put the radio on, but she couldn't find anything she wanted to listen to. Her restlessness drove her into the garden for a while, but somehow she felt like a visitor, she wasn't sure quite where she stood anymore.

Most of all, she needed Lucien. It was no use their friends assuming she was back at the centre of his life if she were not completely certain that he wanted that.

When Lucien returned some hours later he found her in the sunroom, with her knitting in her lap, but looking out over the garden, thinking. She roused herself slightly when she heard his footsteps and went to get up, but he came over to sit beside her.

"It's all over," he said with a deep sigh. Her look held the question she didn't ask.

"Sullivan killed Derek. He put the weapon in my bag when he came to talk yesterday. He also tried to kill Mei Lin, to hang her."

"Is she alright?" asked Jean. "Where is she?"

"They're keeping her in hospital overnight. But she will be fine."

Jean nodded and picked up her knitting. Lucien covered her hands with his own and took the knitting from her, setting it down on the table.

"We need to talk, Jean."

She sighed. She wasn't sure she wanted to have this conversation just now.

"Jean, I have to tell you how I feel. I've been in love with you for months, surely you know that? Regardless of Mei Lin coming back, that hasn't changed. You wanted me to try living with Mei Lin, and I have, but it was never going to work out. I don't love her and she certainly doesn't love me."

"Charlie says you and she seemed happy enough." Her tone of voice was challenging, but she bit her lower lip and she could feel tears rising at the thought of them together.

"We shared a house, Jean. Mei Lin and I can do that, we did it years ago. But that's all it was. She ran the house and looked after me and Charlie, but it didn't feel as though we were married." It occurred to Lucien what she might really be concerned about. "We didn't sleep together, Jean. We didn't even share a room. I told you I slept in your room, and that's the truth."

"But you would have done in time. You would have forgotten me after a while." She knew this was unfair. She had spent weeks trying to forget him. But she had to say it anyway.

Lucien didn't reply, but took her hand and pulled her to her feet. He led her through the house and upstairs, hesitating at the door to her room. He nodded towards the closed door. "Go on," he said, and she went in.

The bed was unmade of course, but Jean could see the impression he had made on the pillow, and where the blankets had wrapped over him. On the table beside the bed there was a photo she didn't remember him taking of her. His clothes were strewn around the room, some hanging in the wardrobe, but most draped over chairs. The room felt like his; she could smell soap and the wool of his suits, a distant aroma of hair cream and sweat.

Her eyes kept returning to that photo. He was telling her the truth. He had kept Mei Lin away from here, she was sure; the mess told her that much. But she had been here all along, in his mind at least.

She reached out for his hand and they stood together in silence for a while. Lucien waited nervously for her reaction.

"I think you need a housekeeper," she said. He hadn't expected that reply! "Look at the mess, Lucien!" But she was smiling now, and she reached up to kiss his cheek.

Her eyes were laughing at him, and he smiled in relief.

"No, I need a wife. You, if you'll have me?"

Jean wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him briefly on the lips. She pulled away before he could deepen the kiss though.

"Ask me when you're free, and then I'll say yes." She stood with her hand flat on his chest, looking him in the eye, and he nodded. He would rather she agreed now, but he understood.

"Now," she said, decisively. "Let me clear all this up. You had better go and take Mei Lin some clothes to the hospital."

"I think you should come with me, so let's do this together too." They started setting the room straight, working in harmony again.


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm going to put the last two chapters of this story up at the same time, as the last one is so short. Thanks for all the lovely comments. I hope you enjoy this ending. xx**

Jean stood at the door to the ward, watching Mei Lin smile at Lucien as he approached her. He kissed her on the cheek and handed over the bag of clothes and toiletries that Jean had prepared.

She turned away and stood looking out of the window at the hospital gardens. All this had given Lucien and Mei Lin something she and Christopher could never have; the chance to say goodbye properly, to say everything they needed to.

What would Christopher make of all this, she wondered? She was fairly sure he would have wanted her to marry again, but she was equally certain that he wouldn't approve of Lucien. Too arrogant, too wealthy, too far above Jean's station in life.

She started to truly understand how different her life would be with Lucien, and how different a second marriage would be to her first.

Lucien caught her eye as she turned back towards them, and beckoned her over. He offered her his chair, then as he stood he excused himself and left Jean and Mei Lin alone together. Jean felt a flash of irritation; he had plainly arranged this, and what had she and Mei Lin to say to each other anyway?

"Thank you for the clothes and other things, Jean," Mei Lin said. "I appreciate them. Lucien has asked me to stay at the house for a few days before I leave. Is that alright with you?"

"It's his house," Jean replied. She knew she sounded churlish and unwelcoming, but she could only remember the few days they had all spent together in the house with horror. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me," she continued. "I'm sure it will be fine."

Mei Lin smiled at her. "I wouldn't blame you if you hated me, Jean. I think I would have. But I'll be going soon, and Lucien and I will get a divorce."

Jean smiled back thinly. She still found it hard to welcome the thought of marrying a divorced man, but she knew she would accept it in time.

"I don't hate you, Mei Lin. Lucien loved you, and you and Li will always be part of him."

"Well, he loves you now. I was never a very good wife to him, and he deserves to be happy." Above all else, Mei Lin needed to make peace with Jean as well as Lucien.

Mei Lin looked weary, and Jean decided it was time to go.

"Sleep well, Mei Lin." She left to find Lucien, and they drove home in near silence. Jean was lost in her own thoughts.

As they went into the house, she broached the subject with Lucien.

"Mei Lin said you and she would be divorced, Lucien. Is that even possible? Do you have any grounds for divorce?" She felt sick at the thought of waiting years to find a way.

"I have grounds, yes, but it could be messy. There will be talk about us all, you know? Mei Lin and Derek had an affair, before the war. I didn't know about it until a few days ago, but perhaps that's just as well."

Jean stared at him in shock; nothing had prepared her for that. "I see. Where's she going to live, Lucien?" She had moved nearer him, and now he pulled her against him in a hug.

"Hong Kong, probably. Frank Carlyle is arranging it. She'll be fine, Jean."

She closed her eyes and rested her head against his chest. She breathed in his familiar scent and felt the first whisper of contentment. For now, this was enough. She would be staying in Ballarat, with him, in his house.

He had chosen her.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Charlie smiled to himself at the sight which greeted him when he got home from work that evening. He was late, the paperwork for the case had taken hours and still was not complete.

Jean was cooking at the stove while Blake fussed around her, supposedly setting the table, but mostly finding opportunities to touch her, as if he needed to reassure himself that she was really back.

Charlie spent most of the meal looking from one of them to the other as they slipped back into their old roles. If he had had any doubts about interfering between them by ringing Jean, he dismissed them now. The risk had been worth it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Christopher may not have been quite as pleased as Charlie at their reconciliation. When Jean rang him to explain her sudden departure, and to ask them to send on her luggage, he sighed in frustration.

What was it about Blake that made her behave like this? His mother, a woman known for her integrity, seemed to have agreed to marry a man (at some unspecified date in the future) who was not yet even divorced, and in the meantime she proposed to go on living with him.

Afterwards, it was Ruby who talked him round, of course. Perhaps she was more pragmatic than Christopher was, or maybe she just thought it a romantic story. Either way, she put Jean's happiness above what was 'right', and surely that was what they both wanted in the end.


	8. Chapter 8

**So, I hope you like soppy endings!**

They stood together watching the car pull away, and Jean reached out a hand to him. She was relieved Mei Lin had gone, but she suspected Lucien had found it hard to say goodbye. Two decades of his life had just gone, and they might never meet again.

He took her hand and brought his mind back to the present. Now he had to try to rebuild what he and Jean had lost.

He intended to kiss her gently and not to go faster than she wanted, but she suddenly took the lead and kissed him urgently, claiming him as hers just moments after his wife had left. He was very willing to be claimed, though.

He held her a little closer with his hand on her back, unwilling to let go even when she broke away from the kiss. Now she seemed embarrassed that she had taken the initiative, and she hurried inside.

Lucien followed more slowly. He wanted Jean so much; if she had taken his hand and led him to bed he would have gone without hesitation. But he knew the coming months would be more complicated than that. She wanted him, but she didn't want their circumstances.

He found her in the kitchen, putting the kettle on. If in doubt, make tea, he thought with wry amusement.

He moved close up behind her and kissed her neck very softly, using his fingers to move aside her curls.

"I'm sorry for everything, Jean," he whispered. "I love you so much, but I know you don't like the idea of a divorce."

"No, I don't," she agreed, "but I don't want to lose you either, so I'll have to get used to it." She turned her head towards him and smiled just a little.

His heart ached for her. None of this was her fault. It seemed unfair that the person who found all this the hardest was the one who was completely blameless. He doubted he could ever truly make it up to her, even if he spent a lifetime trying.

They took their tea into the sunroom and they sat close together on the seat there. Their legs were touching yet he wanted her even closer, so he drew her onto his lap. She curled into him and rested her head on his shoulder, and he held her there with one hand, while the other stroked her leg slowly.

Neither of them spoke much, but gradually they relaxed into each other, letting all the weeks of pain and fear slip away. He could see after a while that Jean had closed her eyes, but he knew she wasn't asleep. He could tell by the way she lay against him that she was letting herself trust him again, and he held her a bit tighter.

When she opened her eyes at last she saw a single tear line on his cheek, and she kissed the salty mark gently. And then she murmured what he had wanted to hear so much.

"I love you too."


End file.
